i don't even know what to call this poem

 I Don’t Even Know What to Call This Poem

 

 

I used to think my favorite letter of the alphabet

was “L”. Because both of my kids have 2 “L”s in

their first names. But I’m listening to my second

audiobook and many of my poems have “oh” in them.

O-H as in oh my goodness; oh god; oh no; oh there

you are; oh boy not this again. So maybe my favorite

letter is really “O” in the same way that the pirate’s

favorite letter is “R” because he says “Argh” all the

time with his parrot and beard and funny hat and

hook for hand. I’ve never thought about this but

many pirates are amputees with hooks and peg legs

and I wonder if they struggle w/ feeling complete,

having lost a part of themselves. Like when I was

in an AA meeting and talked about over-emoting,

feeling too much, and someone said “There’s a

cure for that: lobotomy” as if taking part of my

brain out was funny and an option and okay.

My brain is messed up enough the way it is.

I don’t need any more help thank you.

I just got used to it the way it is now. The way

everything is now, which is changed from the way

it was just a couple of months ago. But that’s

the only constant in this world, isn’t it? Change.

Nothing stays the same. Not even in science.

Not even rocks. They erode over time.

Stars explode. Suns burn out. Galaxies fade.

And feelings? Do they last? Joy? Love? Hope?

Can they hold on forever? Or, like a light,

will they flicker and die, leaving us in a

lonely, utterly dark world, devoid of absolutely

everything but space.

 

by Julie S. Paschold
written January 30, 2026
still feeling it today